I believe in signs

The weekend that followed my visit to the college campus was great. I was on a high. On that Sunday night, I had even updated my status with – “Charged up for the week ahead!!”, with one of my friends liking that status update. I was really charged up for the week ahead. But what was waiting for me was a horrifying truth, a truth that I’ve always been aware of, but have always chosen to ignore. I was slapped with a reminder on the very truth on the very first day of that week.  I spent the rest of the week in a confused state (nothing new for me). This confusion continued its stay with me through that weekend, till I started reading one of the books I picked up the following Monday. That Monday, I went to office with thoughts wandering. I don’t know what lead me to the book store after our lunch that day. I was flipping through a few books in that store and decided to buy 2 from the shop.

That Monday night, after getting back home, I spent reading around 50 pages of one of the books.  I felt it was too late, bookmarked exactly the 50th page of the book and hit the bed. I was still thinking of what I could think of, of what I’ve read in the book till then. There was a line in the book – “Routine is a slow poison”. In a few minutes, I had lot of reasons to blame the whole world. I didn’t know when I slept off. The next morning I woke up, all the more convinced that the whole world is forcing me on a routine and I’m not liking it. As part of the morning Routine, I was searching for a shirt and pant to iron. I was looking for a yellow striped shirt and wasn’t getting it. To my surprise, I found a blue striped shirt which I normally wear every Monday. I was wondering how this shift was available on a Tuesday and why I didn’t wear it the previous day. Only then I realized that it was my dad who ironed my shift the previous day. Only then I realized that I Have forced myself on a routine for the last few years. The rest of the day was spent trying to recall the different routines I’ve forced upon myself all through these years. This weekend, I had an invite from my parents to travel to Madurai. I hesitated a bit. I wanted to play cricket. This has also been a routine for a few years. I’ve been playing cricket every other weekend. So I spent this weekend at Madurai and my status update this Saturday morning was – “Weekend @ Madurai.”

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